Rediscovering Your Identity After Having Children and Why it is Important

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Having children is an amazing way to live, shaping little ones to be a part of society, and extending your family tree. But what happens to yourself after? This article is all my own thoughts, and the best part is, its different for everyone.

I have had my children young. Personally,  I have experienced it all… the frowns from the older generations while pushing a child around the supermarket in the middle of a tantrum, to finding the perfect cover up for my post baby belly for the beach.

As I developed my parenting skills, I forgot more and more about myself. The children came first, and as any honest parent will tell you, sleep is more important than the latest fashion, or catching up with the soaps.

Sometimes getting out of the house with the children in tow, a clean t-shirt on and your hair brushed feels like a miracle.

So why is reclaiming ourselves so important?

As parents, we are the role models for our children. How are we going to promote that our own selves are important if we don’t practice it. And while I am in no way saying this will happen overnight, there are some things you can do that may help.

1. Do something just for you
It could be anything – applying for a membership at a library or leisure centre, spending an afternoon at a coffee shop with a friend -we are all guilty of saying things and not getting around to it!

Everyone deserves time out now and again. By refreshing yourself, it has a domino effect on the rest of your family.

2. Indulge in some retail therapy
This tip is a little materialistic. What we wear says a lot about our identities, and getting a fresh item of clothing can really be a mood changer when you are getting ready  in the morning. Also, how many times have we all said we will pick up a new top, or pair of shoes, and spent our budget on baby clothes?

3. Don’t be afraid to have some alone time.

Having little ones often means we are over touched, and used to a constant body being around. It can seem a little daunting to be finally alone but relish in it. Eat that chocolate bar you were keeping for a special occasion. You deserve a break once in a while, and rediscovering all the things you used to love, or even something as simple as going to the cinema during school time, or a bike ride can make you feel like yourself again.

4. Put yourself out there. 
Our friendships play a role in defining us so when we lose touch with the people we hung out with before our children, it can seem a little part of us has faded away. Our confidence can be knocked, and overthinking tends to take a priority. Truth is, those friends who will be true friends, will stick with you, and bring you out of the baby bubble once in a while.

Joining baby groups or classes can be important, as having a group of friends who are also parents, means you can have a sounding board for any questions and experiences, because chances are, they have been through it themselves.

In conclusion, you are doing one of the hardest roles in life out there, be kind to yourself. Make sure to take care of you.

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